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Not Another Dark Fantasy Movie....Game
An in-Fucking-Depth review of Dragon Age Origins, click the read more button below If you do not feel like reading no worries mate we have a Quickie for ya : DAO QR

{Disclaimer}

Any and all things stated in any review is the view of the reviewer and does not mean that anyone mentioned, or any race of people mentioned, or any religion mentioned actually reflects on the actuality of those mentioned.

These reviews are crude, having foul language, making fun of racial groups/religious groups.

If you are easily offended Fuck you and go away, I do not want your shit stink around this site, we are gamers/men/husbands we do not care what you think about what we say and how we say it for if you are reading this review only to find the "remarks" in it, then you serve us no purpose. Read the review and critique the game review.

~Dragon Age Origins~

{Based on Normal Difficulty and one(1) playthrough}

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So naturally I assumed this game would open the same way every single RPG I have ever played before and lo and behold I was right, everything in life is fine and dandy and pretty and full of flowers bunny rabbits and love, which is exactly what it was.

I played the Human and it did not give me a choice on what my heritage was so unwillingly I had to play the Noblity, I will always play the Humans in any such fantasy game because well Mr. Tolkien put it best I think if any of these amazing creature of yore and lore actually existed well the humans won so I play them.

Well being as it was that I knew how this was gonna happen I immediately ascertained within the first 5 seconds of gameplay that the Arl standing with my father would kill us all

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And later on when he actually did attack and kill everyone that you could have ever cared for even that girl in waiting that you can/get to sleep with in the opening dies, well at that point I went ahead and started predicting everything in the game, and by god I was about so on the money that I crapped myself, but it ended up being the way the game presented it that made it so "yesterday", I remember flauntly "our combat is amazing", and I could not tell you how many times the combat lagged or glitched, or when I would be approaching an enemy and he would walk past me and my character would slowly turn and stare at the creature or person like they had just seen Marilyn Monroes dress fly up and flash everybody.

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And accidently speaking about "ass" and "women" which are incredible close to the same thing you do have romance options in this game, and I paid little to no attention to the other love interests in the game and simply paid attention to one girl, as you should in real life mind you, I chose Morrigan, why? she is pretty and seemed the most interesting out of all the choices that are available.

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I found it unsatisfactory at the end of the game, that she leaves just like that even after everything that she said just before going into Denerim to fight the archdemon, basically admitting that she loved me and was SOOOO very tempted to stay, and she leaves. Later on (the same day only a little later on) I discovered a DLC pack on XBL that was named Witch Hunt and it stated you could go after Morrigan, I was THRILLED!!! I needed a little bit better than that crap at the end of Origins so in my sleep deprived state of litterally one shotting the game and being awake for 30ish hours I decided that it was a great idea to go and get this DLC.

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And since I am on the subject on XBL and there content I must say I hate them, they are utter douchbags and deserve what punish awaits them in that special place in hell, 560 Microsoft points? why not a number that is more stable so that way I could just buy the amount of MS points that I want and be on my way I ended up either having to get two(2) four hundred(400) MS points or one(1) eight hundred(800) and then I am left with 240, with which what in the world am I going to use that on? I do not even think you could even rent a movie or purchase a TV episode with only 240. (got tired of using letters for numbers so I gave it up).

Anyway to sum it up, I am now even more infuriated with the Morrigan situation in the game, oh back to summing it up "WTF BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"

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Anyway you actually get to talk to her at the end of the DLC and here is my problem, you can load your character from Origins which I did, but I only had one problem with the whole setup in general, lets say that I romanced was sweet to and allowed her to be impregnanted and like I said payed attention only to her, well the DLC assumes you where an ass to her and disregarded her throughout the entire Origins game, which this pissed me off even more.

Well anyway and to move along, the combat was rough and jerky the radial menu was like trying to zip up your pants while you have a hardon and no underwear on, it was crappy I tell ya, and the engine that the game ran on was SOOOO slow I coulda went to take a crap with how long it would take for the game to realize that the enemies that I needed to kill to progress further into the level are actually dead and it needs to trigger the door or whatever it happens to be letting me go or do, one such glitch I fell victim to really made me mad was one such. So I defend Redcliffe for the second time (more towards end of the game) and I am standing there in the courtyard after having succesfully defended/killed everything in sight and nothing was happening, I thought to myself well I guess it is going to do this shit again so I went to go nuke some food and get more tea, sweet tea mind you and none of that horse pissing smelling and tasting ones....anyway I researched the glitch a bit and found it to be well known, and the only known cure was to reload your save and well that is the crappy part I had to reload a save for 5 hours before that....ohhh I was mad.

I really liked the blood effects in the game where it would fling up and splatter on the armor and such it was kinda cool, but the first time it panned up to look at someones face during a conversation and it also was covered in blood I thought a few things, "Shouldn't be licking her during that time of the month", "Wipe your face you hemophilian", "Why does that skeleton have blood?" and my favorite "Nigga just got AIDS in his mouth" anyway it was over done a bit, atleast they are pushing the envolope.

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The plot was crappy and predictable the only thing that I never predicted was the traditions of the Grey Wardens, you know like possible dying from a Joining to dying from slaying a Archdemon, other than that I pretty much nailed the head on with predicting everything, the Proving, might as well said the Arena, Deep Road? might as well called it the Mines of Moria, a lot seemed like it was taken from Fable which I guess is ok it is very very hard to be original, the Leveling system was not very d20ish in the least I expected to be able to place my points right and set the cruise control for cool but it seems that it didnt work that way for the most part, stole from WoW here a lot it seems

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(Picture is from PC version)

Well I guess I hit all the important part that I wanted to, in short I would suggest for anyone to play it as long as they do not mind a long RPG, which in fact Neverwinter was much much longer than this game in comparison, probably since so much time is spent on making things look pretty, I did really want to see much more of the world of Fereldan I actually wanted to walk from place to place, and then unlock a fast travel, and mind you the "fast" travel already in the game is just a rubbish way to pre-loading the content while I watch some poor girl use the map as a tampon, and it also seems to be a popular thing nowadays to cheaply render slight background elements to make things look "blurred" or unfocused depending on exactly where you are looking.

In all the game is fine, but the engine needs to be gutted and re-tooled to make it faster, much hope for Dragon Age 2 though.

Reviewer Score : 7/10 rating_bar_7

-Ruffy